ChainsawSPOILER ALERT=> If you’ve yet to see Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) whether at the theater or streamed from the comforts of home, proceed with caution. This article contains plot points that will ruin or make the movie suck for you. This film is the long awaited, quarantined delayed sequel to both Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) and Kong: Skull Island (2017) becoming the fourth film in Legendary’s MonsterVerse. It is also the 36th film in the Godzilla franchise, the 12th film in the King Kong franchise, respectively.

Secondary SPOILER ALERT: This article does have an expiration date. It will get stale and irrelevant roughly 3 months from this paper’s publication date. About the same time anyone who wanted to see the film the article is referencing will have already seen it or no longer cares. Refrigeration may prolong the decomposition of interest’s progress.

Now this is not a “review” by any means. This writer retired from that gig many moons ago and leaves such endeavors in the talented hands of Adam Long — Focus’s current reviewer in residence. However, there is something to be said from a former reviewer’s perspective about this film. Being a reviewer comes with a bit of prestige and pride in one’s movie knowledge. It also comes with a completely different mind-set on films from that of the average moviegoer.

Assumedly assured the aforementioned articulate Adam would agree — that after a time most mainstream movies take on familiar patterns that a seasoned reviewer can easily decipher. In other words — you know what’s going to happen by the end of the film’s first trailer. Initially it seems like a novel talent but after a while it begins to suck the surprise from any film. Such is the case with Godzilla versus Kong.

With the two longest-running, successful giant-monster franchises going head to head neither of the title characters will meet their demise because hey ­— $$$$. They will fight and it will be epic but in the end Godzilla has the numbers (his filmography triples Kong’s) and is the King of Monsters whereas Kong is just the king of….Kong. So Godzilla will be the victor and damn near kills the monster monkey twice in the film’s runtime.

Godzilla

Of course with two super-sized anti-heroes going toe to toe at some point they’ll have to combine forces to face a common enemy (see Batman vs Superman). Enter the man-made, murderous monstrosity Mechagodzilla. Who proceeds to kick Godzilla’s ass. Until Kong recovers from a Godzilla induced heart attack (with the aid of a giant, impromptu defibrillator) and is told by a child (through sign language) to aid Godzilla and save the world. And though obviously outmatched, Kong never bows to the mighty leviathan but he does lay down his weapon and submits to Godzilla’s reign. Yeah saw every bit of that coming… well most of it.

But what if you did see it coming?

What if the evening news reported that a ginormous, atomic, fire-breathing prehistoric lizard and a massive Neolithic gorilla were tearing through Tokyo? What if the same two were fighting in Hollywood hills? What if Godzilla made landfall at Kitty Hawk?

In the movies the human element treats giant-monster attacks like a hurricane warning. Those who don’t seek shelter stare in awe from a distance at the destruction. In reality it would seem there would be a lot more freaking-out going on.

Due to human ego, it’s hard to realistically comprehend that we would be the equivalent of piss ants. Existing in a world with death a mere footstep away…because they could literally step on us. How hard would it be, without question and with visual aid, to grasp our suddenly realized insignificance in the grand scheme?

Would we fight back? Definitely! Would we win? Probably not! How many times have you abandoned your backyard because the bugs were upset?

Everything would change and with the exception of life itself, become meaningless. Because it could all be swept away with a misstep or consumed in atomic fire. Insurance companies would go bankrupt.

Luckily there are no giant monsters. We can go on playing the game of life by our rules. Continue on our delusional path of superiority that we’ve paved for ourselves. But should that day ever come… it will suck! And there’d be nothing we could do about it.


I welcome almost all questions, comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com.

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.