chainsaw_headerMERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Light up the menorah! Hang the mistletoe (depending on how the election goes it may be nuclear mistletoe)! Deck the halls! Crank up Burl Ives! Mix up some lactose free egg nog! Watch Die Hard! Let the yuletide festivities commence!

Wait…what? What do you mean, “wrong holiday”? Hold on, let’s check the calendar. OK so it looks like Christmas is still 62 more shopping days away. Have you finished your shopping yet? Me neither. Not going to wait till the last minute or anything but just haven’t had the time.

Well, what do ya know, the calendar agrees with you that it is, in fact, “not Christmas.” But according to the retail stores it started in September. In addition we’re literally just days away from November 1st, when they’ll all start piping Xmas music over their sound systems for the next two months- talk about a nightmare before Christmas!

Speaking of which, is that supposed to be a Christmas movie? “I am the clown with the tear-away face: here in an instant gone without a trace.” Seriously? This is supposed to be a kid’s movie? Not being a prude or anything but the logic here is severely illogical, in that the film is presented as such to the upcoming generation, by a generation that’s terrified by clowns and slender men? Are people just stupid? Or has our society become so convoluted and confused that we’re not really certain what they’re supposed to be scared of anymore?

What are you afraid of? More importantly, at what point to do become afraid of what scares you? Right now (before you think it through), you’re probably thinking that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. Obviously you’re always afraid of what scares you. Really now?

So if you’re afraid of let’s say strangers, you walk around in an endless state of abject terror? You’re always looking over your shoulder and never get a moments peace, because your mind is constantly consumed by this fear? Well of course not. Unless you are, which would mean you are suffering from a severely heightened and unnatural sense of paranoia. In which case you should seek professional help…before the strangers that are not there get you.

But if you are not always afraid of what scares you, then when are you scared of what you fear? The point in which a person the-nightmarereaches a true state of fear actually varies per individual. For some, just the mere mention of something that frightens them can set them on edge. Others need only minor visual aid, such a picture or video, to inspire a sense of dread. Then there are those who have to actually experience it in person, in real time, before true terror sets in. This too comes in an assortment of stages.

Actual visual contact is enough to ensure doom for some. In other cases the visual contact has to be mutual with a person’s living nightmare—it’s not scary to see it but horrific when it sees you. Proximity also plays a large part in fear, as certain things are only scary when uncomfortably close. Of course aggressive or threatening behavior (i.e., it runs at you or mocks you with crude gestures) can also trigger a true sense of panic. This does not apply to arachnophobia… that spider did not have a knife.

Lastly there are those who require the full-monty. They won’t experience true fear until whatever they’re afraid of is actually “getting them.” Or at least until some type of physical contact is achieved. Though they experience a sense of apprehensive anxiety, they’re not actually afraid of it until it is touches them.

So… at what point to do become afraid of what scares you? Do you get the willies when you see a picture of a spider? Does a clown waving to you across a parking lot set your heart racing? Perhaps a stranger peering in your window horrifies you? Or are you waiting, till that thing in the corner, crawls onto the bed?

Now I could tell you to find your true inner fear and embrace it; after all this is Halloween! But hugging strange spider-clowns seems like a bad idea. Thus we close Helloween for this year by saying: fear your fears but enjoy the scares, for that is the true reason for the season during this nightmare before Christmas.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!