I can ascertain, with a certain amount of certainty, that many of you can recall a time when the “information highway” was nothing more than a wagon-rutted dirt trail through the wilderness of ignorance that wove a long curvy path right up to the front steps of the public library.
Back then, with the aid of the card catalogue, knowledge was sought out, checked out and manually inserted directly into your brain via reading a book. Whether doing a report, entertainment, furthering your education or skills on a particular subject, this was the go-to place to go…to. And while we’re tripping nostalgic let us not forget the microfiche machines. If you needed information on a past news article this was the most advanced way to do so. Scroll… scroll… scroll… nope next slide please. And then, seemingly overnight, the world became entangled in a wide web putting everything on the line, in a quest for higher learning.
One has to wonder what the current, up and coming generations think of our archaic methods of seeking knowledge. These days all one has to do is type a query into a search bar. No need for the library, as information can be accessed on your phone, wherever you go…if you can get a signal.
Now, Dewey Decimal
System be damned, we have literally a literal world of information right at our fingertips! And what knowledge do we seek, now that all knowledge is just a click of the mouse away? Porn and cat videos. Seriously… that’s what most of the internet’s content is comprised of and searched for — pornographic videos of every variety and every variety of cats on video.
Cat porn aside the internet can be an amazing tool when used properly. Most notably are the instructional how-to, do it yourself videos available on YouTube. If you need to figure out how to safety remove a screwdriver from your four year old…washing machine’s drive belt (don’t put tools in kids), there’s sure to be a video for it. But be wary – it’s a trap.
It starts innocently enough as you enter your search and select a video that best pertains to your subject matter. But as you’re watching your eyes wander to the “SUGGESTED VIDEOS.” Hmm that looks like it might be helpful …click. Hmm that looks interesting…click. Nudity …click clickity click-click. Two hours and 40+ clicks later you’ve not only forgotten what the hell you were there for in the first place but watching an endless plethora of humorous clips…or cat porn.
Vines, fails, epic fails, funniest videos, etc., suck you in and all they amount to is mindless drivel that you’ll soon forget when you log out. And what do most of these can’t-miss side busters comprise of — stupid people doing stupid things or regular people in irregular situations. But in most cases, people falling down and/or getting hurt.
Small children and pets make up a lot of funny/fail videos and when you really think about it, it’s horrific. A child is in, what anyone with a brain can see, a precarious situation. Do you intervene and spare needless injury? No you grab your phone hoping to catch an epic fail in action. Have you ever noticed that with those “funny” kid clips that the video cuts out right after the accident… err… funny part. Do you know why? Because apparently it’s funny to see a toddler fall headfirst off a playset, onto the unforgiving ground below; but not so funny to hear their little screams of horror and cries of pain after the fact.
But we only want the funny parts, right? Whether it’s a child, adult, animal, plant, friend, foe, family or stranger we’re not concerned with the aftermath, the injuries, the potential pain and suffering. Our biggest concern is will it go viral?
It already has and the virus is spreading. As we relish and are numb to the well-being of others for the sake of a laugh it would seem our race has achieved the ultimate “epic-fail” and still ponder as to why we are doomed as a species.
Next week: Love is in the air as we celebrate the beheading of St. Valentine. Now if you’ll excuse me I must watch the latest batch of fail fodder that has been suggested.
I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS or E-mail me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!