chainsaw_header“To give me all your love is all I ever ask ‘cause what you don’t understand is — I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain! Yes, I would die for ya, baby… but you won’t do the same.” Lyrics excerpted from R & B pop song “Grenade” by Bruno Mars, circa 2010.

Who’s throwing explosives at your beloved? Are you professing your love in a war-torn country? Whom are you deflecting a blade from? Did ninjas follow you home? Are you Superman (Supergirl = equality)? If not, then jumping in front of a train is pointless. It would just be a horrific blood-splattered memory for your heart’s desire to carry to their grave. Unless of course they too are in the train’s path, so maybe — “I’d push you from in front of a train… for ya” would work better?

Okay, yeah we get it — people want to believe they’d give their life for someone they love. However, they never really take into consideration the potential reality after the fact. Once successfully accomplished, there would obviously be a period of mourning. The sacrifice you made would not soon be forgotten. But eventually they’d move on and love another. Which brings up the question: would you be martyring yourself as a testimony to your shared love or to preserving the life of one you love?

Human sacrifices aside, let’s look at more practical applications to expressing one’s feelings. Rather than one grand suicidal gesture, how about an endless multitude of menial tasks stretched out over a lifetime shared together? Little things like doing the dishes, watching the kids or picking up around the house (especially after yourself)? They do say that you say it best when you say nothing at all, and actions speak louder than words.

Stuffed AnimalOf course, if you prefer a more direct approach or your significant other is oblivious to your considerate intentions, there are other things. Little notes in lunches, sincere heartfelt hugs after a hard day or just listening. Small acts of affection scattered throughout the day, every day. And of course, keeping track and bearing in mind that not every day is just another EVERY day.

If you’d like to experience an interesting display of the human condition, just find yourself out and about on the eve of St. Valentines. Step inside a card shop, flower store or greeting card section of your local pharmacy. Then watch and bear witness to the slow-burn chaos that unfolds.

Folks desperately searching among the leftovers to find that one special card that expresses how they feel. Never for a moment considering just writing it down on… a hand-made card? Pshaw! People hoping that there are still fresh flowers to be had and grocery store flowers won’t do! You must pay extra to have the exclusive dozen delivered, despite the fact that it’s the same thing. Oh no, the only love stuffies left are a heart-shaped albatross and a pink gorilla that plays and dances to “Wild Thing”, but they like baby sloths!!! OMG… rectangular-boxed Whitman samplers are all that’s left??? Quick! To the jewelry store!!! And with a month’s salary and 27 monthly installments you can buy something shiny that you’ll have paid off by the time the next event arises — better establish an open line of credit.

Cards are read, folded and forgotten. Flowers die. Stuffies gather dust and end in the attic or Goodwill. Jewelry? Well the easy way out will cost you more and make random appearances at choice events.

But whether it’s a $4.95 Hallmark or breakfast at Tiffany’s bracelet, it’s all material. Regardless of how much (or little) you put into this required ritual, it is irrelevant compared to what they get out of it.

Whether it’s a one end-all selfless act, constant doting devotion or material gains of the heart, it’s the recipient that decides if it really matters. And honestly, there’s no way to truly tell if it does. So we just keep trying. Because love… true love, means never giving up.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya.