Ever have one of those friends who only calls when they need something? I’d venture a guess and say you’re on their C List.
Let’s face it, we maneuver through life utilizing established lists. Quite under the radar…even to ourselves. Subconsciously prioritizing our lives comes second nature. We literally function based on what we consider essential to our happiness. To offer an extreme example consider this question: Is it more important to pay the bills, or go on a ‘sky’s the limit’ spending spree? While a shop-till-you-drop day sounds like sheer unadulterated happiness…sigh. In reality, splurging aficionados wake the morning after to discover the rent is due and they’re suffering from a bouncing bank account hangover. Yikes! Apparently, ‘pay bills’ requires a conscientious leap forward to land on the A List. Or not, if repeated relocation is your passion.
However, for the majority, the manner with which we handle our day-to-day circumstances depends on lists. A’s are our ‘must do’ items we manage like a well-oiled machine. Efficiently and effectively taking care of our obligations. B’s fall under the ‘need vs. want’ category and are maintained on an ‘as needed’ basis. A gray area for some, the outcome is usually less compulsive, more necessity. C’s, however, don’t fare as well. Instead, they appear to hover over the back burner until a cosmic shift occurs. Or, we don’t have anything else to do and we get around to it.
Human beings treat each other the same when it comes to prioritizing quality social interactions. Those on our A List are generally family. Yes, A-Listers are the top echelon of the pecking order: mom, dad, spouse, children, grandchildren, and the pets we love dearly. Simply put, our A List includes our most-est favorite people. And if we were cruising down the road in a convertible we’d ALL be in the driver’s seat!
B Listers are our favorite people too, except they ride shotgun and don’t always cruise with our every move because they have their own A Listers to enjoy. Often life-long friends we’ve known since kindergarten, others we’ve known only a handful of years, yet feel a deep connection to are on our B List. Oftentimes, feeling closer than some of our family members, B Listers may possibly out-number A’s, yet when it comes to priorities…it’s family first.
The backseat is reserved for C Listers. Casual friends, or acquaintances who lounge in the backseat on the rare occasion they are asked to accompany us while we cruise. Only after we’ve exhausted our A and B Lists first for availability. However, to a C Lister, this has the same disheartening effect as being the last one picked for a team in school.
For example, let’s assume you’re happily in a dating relationship. Then you start to notice a disturbing trend. You’re only invited when no one else is available. This happened to me in college. From where I stood, the sun rose and set on this guy. Hey, I was young. Proven by the ridiculous immaturity of planning my laundry depending on what we were doing over the weekend. However, as time went on I began to realize he’d make plans with me only after he knew his dad didn’t need him to help around the house. Or, if his friends were busy. After about a year (I was blinded by stars in my eyes…it took that long.) it occurred to me I was in the backseat…and it wasn’t looking like I was ever going to ride shotgun. My first awareness of subconscious ‘lists.’ So, I simply got out of the car.
Older and wiser, it’s amazing to me that I still happen upon this scenario. No worries though, my eyes are open and I recognize red flags immediately. Plus, it’s like mama always said, “Plenty of fish in the sea.” I now say, “Plenty of convertibles on the highway!”
Note: If you’re in the trunk, that’s an entirely different list altogether.
Can you Imagine…who’s on your Lists?
Smile, it’s as simple as a, b, c!