Chainsaw

“Good morning… everything we have is super cheap and the more you buy the cheaper it gets!” This welcoming line has always and forever been my introductory sales pitch. Delivered pleasantly with a smile and the utmost sincerity to every customer at every yard (and now, one moving) sale I’ve hosted since the beginning of time… which is — 6am — till?

Oft it is met with smirking skepticism from potential customers. Assuredly all yard sale veterans who’ve heard it all before…except for maybe “the more/the cheaper” bit. They’re not gonna fall for some roadside snake oil salesman’s ploy. Then they pick something up and everything changes. “How much is this?” and before they can even contemplate the first offered price…it drops. Or has something extra thrown in to sweeten the pot.

“How much are you asking for the vintage Kodak Brownie 300 projector (still in the box)?” Five dollars… and you can take the antique lighting stand case… and that vintage projector screen too…all for 5 bucks. He greedily grabs the items up and begins perusing for more. This starts a chain reaction as other witnessing patrons begin loading up on arm loads of goodies — mission accomplished!

Whoa… that’s insane! A vintage Kodak Brownie 300 projector goes for a minimum of $50 online… aren’t you losing money? Yes, it could be listed online and then IF the right person comes along a profit could be made. Then if it’s not sold, be put back into storage? The fact is it was bought for next to nothing and has been in the attic breeding dust bunnies for 10+ years… so yeah $5 to get it off the lawn.

Some folks lose perspective on what a yard sale is supposed to be. Sure you can make a few bucks. But primarily it should be seen as a quick cash-grabbin’ pit stop between your home and the local donation center. Besides, do you really wanna haul all that s*** back indoors if you can’t sell it for retail? That or waiting someone to… “Make me an offer you can’t refuse!”As Memories Leave The Yard

People are funny. They come looking for bargains and wanting something for nothing, proven when they show up with a handful of quarters to fund the “deal of a lifetime” they’re looking to find. They ask “How much?” and no matter what you say it’s never low enough. But turn the tables and put the ball in their court by responding with, “How much will you give me for it?” and watch them lose their minds. They don’t want to insult you or verbalize how petty their idea of a fair price should be. Because hypocritically speaking, if the shoe were on the other foot, they’d never go that low.

Penny pinchers, friendly faces, bargain hunters, holy grail-seekers, hoarders, eBay re-sellers, bratty spoiled kids, folks that buy random things at random, happy shoppers, just visitors, lonely talkers, on-lookers, drive-byers. Those shopping for furniture you obviously don’t have (do you see a matching 5-piece solid oak bedroom set out here?) and those who’ll slip back later to see if you’ve left anything by the curb. They are all part of the yard saleing experience. Each with the potential to walk away with something that once meant something.

You make and post the signs. Set up tables, lay out blankets, lug everything inside out and suddenly it looks like your house threw up in your front yard. You’ll be on the run from prior to the crack of dawn until — ? The payout will hardly seem worth the physical exhaustion, but it’s nothing in comparison to the potential emotional impact as the sun rises and the yard empties.

Sure there are things you couldn’t give a rodent’s donkey about and you’re glad to see them go. Others leave tinged with a bit of guilt — a gift from friend or family you just don’t have use or room for. Some items may carry a bad memory across the property line and hopefully in their absence fade into forgetfulness. Of course it’s inevitable a few good memories will go too… if it doesn’t sell, you can always take it back inside. If it does, you can still keep the memories… or go to another yard sale and buy some new ones.

 


I welcome almost all questions, comments via FOCUS, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.