Like ground to air missiles his curses they came; shrieking, and howling, and calling me names “You hack, you buffoon, you chainsaw-handed bruiser!”

I replied, “Sticks and stones…you holiday loser!” Flung into the rafters, slammed ‘gainst the barn wall, then I hit the ground, feeling nothing at all. Into a pit of black sand swirling round, like a thousand cold hands pulling me down. Into the abyss’s dank darkness they drew, with my very last hope and chainsaw, too.

Pitch Black a.k.a. that old boogeyman, had made me part of his anti-holiday plan. He couldn’t take on the big dogs, so in retort, he’d decided to go after those of us on the porch. Thinking he could find restituted relief, in taking down those who inspired belief!

“Once I’ve finished with you,” he said with a grin, “then my master plan can truly begin. By taking down well-wishers and caroling singers, department store Santas, Salvation Army bell ringers. Eliminating those who fight for belief, I’ll give neither no quarter nor any relief.

Ruining Christmas for those young and old, destroying traditional stories they’ve been told. Disbelief will spread all across the nations, even to the most remote of locations. And with that belief gone the “good guys” will fall; the fairy, the bunny, the dreamer, and Claus! But no need to get ahead of ourselves, (must remember to burn a shelf full of elves). It’s a shame you won’t be around to witness, when the old Boogeyman destroys Christmas!”

sawHe prattled on laughing (like an absolute loon), talking in first-person to the man in the moon. There was a loud ‘CLICK’ and he spun back round; cuz I’d gotten back up, got my shotgun down. “How did you escape? How are you still standing?” He wasn’t just asking, he was demanding. “Surely no one supplied “YOU” with belief! And helped you escape my deadly motif’. You’re not even a Guardian … you’re really no one!” “Nope,” I replied, “just the guy with a gun.”

Then with a loud *BOOM* I blew him to pieces, it looked like the barn was covered in feces. This respite would be short I was willing to bet. So out came a lighter and a fresh cigarette. He reformed rather quickly and so it would seem — you can’t use a 12 gauge against a bad dream.

Still I blew out some smoke and chambered a shell, full ready to give the boogeyman hell. But as he rematerialized you could tell he was done. So I snubbed out the smoke and put down the gun.

Holding out a hand I helped him to his feet, he seemed more perplexed than he was in defeat.

He asked, “How did you get out, you had no friends here? No one to believe you could do it was near?” “Yes I was alone,” came my reply, “which is probably the reason why I’ve learned to sometimes solely rely… on me, myself, and of course I,” (quadruple rhyme scheme – POINTS).You see no one can believe in you (or you anyone else), until you’ve learned how to believe in yourself. “

He looked confused, his face covered in grief. It seems he’s addicted to a need for others’ belief.

His whole life spent seeking the approval of others, I’d bet he had mean older sisters and brothers. And it was over-eagerness to be accepted, that had led to him too oft being rejected. Thus in vengeance he’d sought to bring fear, to anyone who dared to draw near. Psychologically speaking this analysis is sound, at least that’s the best I can figure in a barn, on the ground.

“You’ve given me so much to ponder about.” He said quietly, got up and walked out. No grand battle royale or holiday resolution. No profound realization or even confirmed conclusion.

You see that’s the way a real fight often ends; you’re not sworn enemies anymore but not really quite friends.

Yet there’s still hope — because people can change? Well, not all at once, that’d seem fake and deranged. It starts from within and to be brief, it doesn’t need or require others’ belief. It all starts with you and nobody else, because first one has to believe in one’s self.

Well, that’s a wrap — yep that’s how it ends. Hope you enjoyed this tale my dearest of friends. Till next week stay hopeful and try to do better. Merry one week till Christmas to all and to all… whatever!


I welcome almost all questions, comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com. Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused! See ya.