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April 30, 2015

Thief Sneaks Ice Cream Cooler Past Sleeping Store Clerk

Oakland Park, FL (AP) Deputies in Florida say a thief worked for 15 minutes to drag a cooler full of Good Humor ice cream past a sleeping clerk at a gas station near Fort Lauderdale.

Surveillance cameras captured a man walking up to the Oakland Park store at 4:09 a.m. on April 2 to find the clerk sleeping.

Authorities say the man opened the ice cream cooler, looked directly into the camera and flashed a middle finger.

After a few minutes, he carefully pulled the $2,500 cooler through the store’s doors.

Authorities arrested Dennis Norman on grand theft charges on April 22. He was released from jail on $1,000 bond.

Tater Tots, Comfy Couch Waylay California Burglar

Petaluma, CA (AP) Police say a would-be burglar got sidetracked by snacks and a comfy place to snooze, heating up some tater tots and taking a nap on the sofa of the house he broke into.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that a homeowner in Petaluma went downstairs to find the man asleep on her sofa Thursday. The woman rushed to her bedroom, called police and then ran out the front door. She woke up the man, who fled out the back.

Officers parked on the next street spotted him and tried to handcuff him. They used a stun gun on him twice when he resisted. Police say he wasn’t injured.

The Placerville man is being held on $30,000 bail and has a criminal history including arrests for drug and weapons possession.

Abraham Lincoln Misquoted Again On Banner

Columbus, OH (AP) An Ohio Statehouse banner marking the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s death includes his famous words ``With malice to no one, with charity for all.’’

Except that’s not exactly what Lincoln said in his second inaugural address. What he said was, ``With malice toward none, with charity for all.’’

A spokesman for the Capitol Square Review and Advisory Board tells The Columbus Dispatch officials wanted the banner to be historically faithful to the original one hung on the building on April 29, 1865.

That was the day 50,000 people filed through the Statehouse rotunda to pay their respects to the slain president when his funeral train arrived in Columbus.

The current banner is displayed on the building’s west portico, just like the 1865 banner that misquoted Lincoln.

Dog Rescued In Kansas After 13 Days Under Concrete Slab

Derby, KS (AP) A miniature dachshund has been rescued after spending 13 days trapped underneath a concrete slab at her home in Kansas.

The Wichita Eagle reports that the dog, named Lucy, disappeared April 3 while in her fenced Derby yard. It turns out Lucy had dug underneath the slab that was supporting the house’s air-conditioning unit.

Owner Rebecca Felix says her other dog, Thor, had acted interested in the spot where Lucy was buried. But it wasn’t until last Thursday that she and her husband heard a

quiet bark come from under the concrete. Her husband dug deep enough to see Lucy’s nose and one closed eye. He called 911, and firefighters helped extract her.

Veterinarian Kelly Miller says it’s “amazing” Lucy survived and didn’t suffer organ failure.

Manure Trade Show’s Slogan Contest Produces Pile Of Entries

Chambersburg, PA (AP) Entries are piling up for a slogan contest being held this year by the North American Manure Expo.

The trade show, now in its 13th year, showcases the latest technology in manure handling, treatment and application. It’s being held in July in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.

An official event slogan has already been settled on: ``2015 Manure Expo: Manure than you can Handle!’’ It will appear on the front of a T-shirt.

But contestants are vying to land a spot on the back of the T-shirt, which event organizers say will display 10 of the ``crappiest’’ also-rans.

Writers of the 10 alternate slogans get a free T-shirt. Here are 10 (printable) entries from the approximately 200, that were submitted by Thursday:

- Manure Expo, where nobody stands behind their product. -You provide the creek. We provide the paddle. - Keep your friends close, and your manure further. - The future of what’s left behind! - We do doo. Do you? - Manure Happens (to be Nutritious!) - Been there, Spread that ... (at) the North American Manure Expo - Proud survivor of North American Manure Expo ... It got deep. - Heaping piles of fun! - North American crap shoot.

Man Driving Motorhome Leads State Troopers On A Chase

Anchorage, AK (AP) An Alaska man used a motorhome in a failed attempt to elude arrest by state troopers.

Eligah Christian of Wasilla was arrested Friday morning, but not before he mashed the bulky vehicle into several patrol cars. Christian, 49, was being sought on a $100,000 warrant on charges of scheming to defraud, 15 counts of theft and 21 counts of issuing bad checks, troopers said in a release.

An officer spotted him driving the 2014 motorhome and attempted to make a traffic stop. Christian ignored the trooper’s siren and flashing lights and took off at a high speed, troopers said. Other officers joined the chase. As Christian headed toward the busy Parks Highway, troopers attempted to use spike strips to stop the motorhome.

As Christian tried turning the motorhome around, troopers said, he struck several patrol vehicles. He also hit the spike strips and was stopped outside a home, where he was arrested. He remained jailed Sunday at Mat-Su Pretrial Facility in Palmer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


ARCHIVES:

April 23 - Egypt Court Sentences Belly Dancer For ‘Insulting’ Flag

April 16 - Farmer Names Calf Born With Heart In Neck ‘Cardio Brisket’

April 9 - Burger King To pay For The Wedding Of Mr. Burger, Ms.King

April 2 - Trespasser Leaves Behind Credit Card Trail

March 26 - Authorities Seek Remedy For Naked NC Neighbor

March 19 - Nude Backyard Sunbather Takes Plea Deal

March 12 - Raccoon’s Freedom Costs San Francisco Carpenter His Job

March 5 - Men Built Mystery Tunnel To Use As Man Cave

February 26 - Toronto Police Stumped By Mysterious Tunnel

February 19 - No Charges For Woman Who Threw Bacon Into Police Station

February 12 - California Firefighters Save Horse Stuck In Tub

February 5 - Funds Pour In For Man Who Walks 21 Miles To, From Work

January 29 - Dancing Genitals Video Is A Hit In Sweden!

January 22 - ‘In Dog We Trust’ Rug To Be Auctioned For Animal Group

January 15 - Squirrel’s Wrong Turn Leads To Ohio Power Outage

January 8 -
Plea To Save Knavery, Flapdoodle And Rapscallion!

January 1 - West Virginia Troopers Hand Out $100 Bills

December 25 - Among Change, Gift Of Jewels For Salvation Army

December 18 - American Pops Question At Eiffel Tower

December 11 - Boys Searching For Santa Start By Calling 911

December 4 - Family Happy Squashy The Sasquatch Is Back In Their Yard

November 27 - New Sign In Indiana Warm Of Turtle Crossing

November 20- Flying Spaghetti Monster Devotee Sports Colander On License

November 13 - Man Held; Yard-Sale Teller Wasn’t Fooled By Fake $20s

November 6 - NYC Worker Suspended For Using ‘Robotic Voice’

October 30 - Custom Urns Courtesy Of Company’s 3-D Printer

October 23 - Woman Saved And Arrested On The Same Day

October 16 -Indiana College Gives Pizza Delivery Guy $1,200 Tip

October 9 - FTC Retailers: Drop Your Caffeinated Drawers

October 2 - Vets In NH Give Sight To Falcon Blind For Two Years

September 25 - Pregnant Buffalo + Frisky Bull Equals Knockout

September 18 - California Nudist Camp Accused Of Stealing Water

September 11 - In Washington Surprise Attack, Bear: 1 • Bowhunter: 0

September 4 - Dog Turns On Stove, Starts Fire...Maybe He Was Hungry?

August 28 - Um...OK, The Cameras Stink; Nevermind

August 21 - 86 Year Old Woman Writes Romance Novel

August 14 - Wanted: Serial Bank Robber With Questionable Taste

August 7 - Interrupting Lawyer Gets Rare Sanction

July 31 - Strip Club Endorses Pastor For Congress

July 24 - Man Starts Fire Using ‘Blowtorch’ To Kill Spider

July 17 - Great Fall Too Much, Humpty Dumpty To Be Rebuilt

July 10 - Performer Drapes, Lights Firecrackers On Body

July 3 - Good Samaritan Rescues Man From Burning SUV

June 26 - Firemen Rescue Man When ‘Lady’ Sculpture Traps Him

June 19 - Blind Man Hears, Feels His Way To Auto Mechanic Degree

June 12 - Drivers Gathering For Great Nebraska Tractor Ride

June 5 - Thief With Facebook Account Rats Himself Out

May 29 - Missing Pet Pigeon Flies To School Of Young Owner

May 22 - Testing Inconclusive, Suspected Bobcat Returned

May 15 - Rooster Prince George, At Dallas Hardware Store, Is Popular

May 8 - New Jersey Fire Siren Silenced By Osprey Nest

May 1 - New Jersey Tot Wipes Out Hours Of Monks’ Work

April 24 - Miss America: Don’t Suspend Teen Over Prom Invite

April 17 - Squirrel Blamed For $300K In Damage To Building

April 10 - Burglary Suspects Butt Dials 911

April 3 - Teen Says Typeface Change Could Save Millions

March 27 - Scrap Dealer’s Bargain Turns Out To Be Worth Millions

March 20 - City Considers Taking Ban On Spitting Off Books

March 13 - Gettysburg Wax Museum Selling Historical Figures

March 6 - Woman Gives Birth In New York City Crosswalk

February 27 - Wisconsin Rubber Duck Bill Racing To Finish Line

February 20 - Wait Till Santa See ‘Em! Reindeer Get Glowing Antlers

February 13 - NJ Festival Lets You Eat, Drink, Floss With Bacon

February 6 - Romance Sizzles At Bacon Fest As Couples Marry

January 30 - Man Shares Wanted Photo, And Cops Really LIKE Him

January 23 - Beloved Dog’s Ashes Returned To Owner After Two Years

January 16 - Colorado Gives Up And Renames Mile 420 Marker

January 9 - Brewery Responds To Starbucks Letter With $6 Check

January 2 - Atlanta Home Prompts 911 Calls With Fake Dangler

December 26 - Dog That Survived Gassing Headed To Rose Parade

December 19 - Tourist Distracted By Facebook Falls Off Pier

December 12 - ‘Cannibal Sandwiches’ Sicken Wisconsin Residents

December 5 - Topless Barber Charged With Unlicensed Cosmetology

November 28 - 852 Thai Children Set Human Christmas Tree Record

November 21 - Beagle’s Nose Predicts Few US Polar Bear Cubs

November 14 - NY Knish Factory Fire Leads To Nationwide Shortage

November 7 - Stolen Costumes + Craigslist = Not A Good Idea

October 31 - City: Odor From Sriracha Chili Plant A Nuisance

October 24 - Deadly Halloween Tableau Too Realistic For Some

October 17 - Abandoned Philly Prison Adds Screams For Halloween

October 10 - Indiana Dog That Crashed Half Marathon Gets Medal

October 3 - Naked And Scared Has Turned Into Semi-Clothed & Spooky

September 26 - Extra Weight Costs Bank Robber Swift Exit

September 19 - Russian Shot In Quarrel Over Kant’s Philosophy

September 12 - Art Heist Trial Help Up Over Lawyer’s Sneakers

September 5 - Marijuana Wrapped Arrow Shot At Squirrel?

August 29 - Hole Makes Huge Pumpkin Ineligible For Alaska Fair

August 22 - Prowling Ninja Says He Was Trying To Help Cops

August 15 - British Cats’ DNA Helps Convict A Killer

August 8 - China’s Heat Wave Brings‘Dead’ Man Back To Life

August 1 - Owner Could Face Charges For Venomous Snakes

July 25 - Swimmer To Go Alone Hauling 2,000 Pounds Of Brick

July 18 - Thai University Apologizes For Hitler Banner

July 11 - Winner Of The Cherry-Spitting Contest - BB Gun!

July 4 - Family Dogs Survive Close Call With Mama & Baby Bears

June 27 - ‘Here’s Looking At You...Officer!’ Man Quotes Bogart Upon Arrest

June 20 - "Happy Birthday To You" Copyright Suit Filed In NY

June 13 - Nude Revelers Greet Popular Tourist Train

June 6 - ‘Bucket List’ Item Leads To Women’s Arrest

May 30 - Swing Dance Your Way To Class Credit

May 23 - NH City Sues Parking Meter “Robin Hoods”

May 16 - Critter Cams Provide Peek Into The Lives Of Bears

May 9 - OMG - The Sun Is Shining! School Closes For Nice Weather

May 2 - Cartel-Linked Man Arrested On The Dance Floor

April 25 - Oregon Juror Jailed For Texting During Trial

April 18 - What’s That Sound? Court Screeners Find Pet Duck In Bag

April 11 - Goat That Walked Into Bar Was Taken From Zoo

April 4 - Man Accused Of Using Fake Penis For Drug Test

March 28 - Caretaker Charged With Taking Care Of Old Whiskey, Too

March 21 - Crime Doesn’t Pay #1: Thief Returns Money From 1980s

March 14 - People, Pooches Team Up To Fight Flab At Gym

March 7 - 37-Pound Tubby Tabby, Biscuit, In Need Of Home

February 28 - Shoeshine Man Donates $200,000 In Tips

February 21 - 911 Call Asking For Cigarettes Leads To Arrest

February 14 - Mistrial Declared When Prosthetic Eye Pops Out

February 7 - Snoozing Judge Sent Home For Nap


 

 

 

 

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