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They Oft Go Awry

March 6, 2014

“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.” The famous line presented in its original Scottish dialect from “To A Mouse” a poem written by Robert Burns in 1785. Burns, who was a Scottish farmer and aspiring poet at the time, composed this poem shortly after ploughing up a mouse’s nest in a frozen wintry field. What this quote means in layman’s terms, minus Scottish poetic licensing, is that for all creatures great and small (specifically man) no matter how well your plans are laid you can never expect the unexpected.

Speaking of unexpected, here’s something unexpected that will seem completely irrelevant till its relevance is realized a few paragraphs down.

Recently, during a discussion about the coming attractions for this year’s movie line-up, my friends were initially confused when I laid out the titles for the two films I am most eager to see. Confused because not only were my top picks not new releases but they were basically antiques. Not to mention both are, by the world’s standards and mine, admittedly two of the worst films ever made in the history of film making.

The first is the 1959 disaster Plan 9 From Outer Space, the film that earned the infamous Ed Wood The Golden Turkey Award for “worst director ever.” It highlights a race of human looking aliens using Earth human zombies (three of them) to stop mankind from creating a doomsday weapon.

The second is another horrifically horrible sci-fi train wreck entitled Robot Monster. This 1953 classic...(wait let me stop laughing) highlights an alien, which is a guy in a gorilla suit with a dime store diving helmet for a head. His mission is to kill the last eight people on earth (he already got everybody else).

So now you too are probably confused as to why in hell I would be excited about seeing these two box-office bombs. Let’s appease your confusion by saying that the reason these movies have me so excited is because I know I won’t be disappointed. OK, so either you get it or are more confused...this calls for further explanation.

For fifteen years I viewed and reviewed over 3,000 films for this newspaper. During that time nothing was more disheartening than getting totally psyched about a preview and then let down by the film itself sucking. You know the feeling. You see previews on television, little snippets on the internet and your friends are buzzing about how awesome a film’s going to be. Then you see it. You walk away feeling robbed of the over-priced admission and mentally raped by the time wasted.

With these two films there’s no way that can happen. The fact that they’re terrible has already been established so there’s no disappointment. Besides, it’ll be fun to see what “amazing special effects” the 50’s had to offer and you can be sure the acting is Oscar quality...said with much sarcasm. Just this week both have been ordered on E-bay and are on their way to my abode as we speak. Should arrive just before the weekend.

Now considering my level of anticipation you could surmise that plans have already been laid for a really bad B-movie weekend. The truth is it hasn’t even been considered. As a matter of fact I have pretty much given up on planning how to enjoy free-time or life in general. The reason for this abandoning of constructive time-management can be attributed to the fact there’s a toddler in my house.

On Sunday mornings my home office becomes a sanctuary of thought and madness as I pound out the next week’s article. Always there comes the pitter-pattering of little feet followed by the door bursting open in a Kramer-from-Seinfeld like entrance, ”PAPPY!” Rather than fuss over my planned writing time being disturbed I smile and take a minute to share the moment. This is not to place blame on the Tot for all my plans going astray. However, his presence and the spontaneity of it all has brought me to realize that trying to make concrete plans, even for the simplest, trivial things will often lead to disappointment. It’s better just to go with the flow and see how it all plays out. I’m not saying we should “live in the moment” I would never endorse such a foolhardy take on life but rather we should choose the moments we live for and just let life happen.

I welcome almost all questions and comments either through the Focus, or just E-mail me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com. Or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!

 

 

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