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Grow Up!!!

July 11, 2013

Editors Note: We hope you enjoy this Chainsaw classic!

From the moment we are purged from our mothers’ wombs and forced to enter this world we are encouraged, (sometimes quite insistently) to “grow up.” Lesson one: breathe, and with the drawing of that 1st breath, involuntarily set the process of growing up into motion. Things are simple in the beginning, as the natural aspects of our growth take over. We learn to eat and sleep, make a poop; most importantly how to raise holy hell if we’re hungry, sleepy or covered in poop. Roll-over, crawl, sit-up, stand; the obedience school stuff goes by. Then the 2 biggies- walking and talking. It’s funny that these are the things parents look forward to the most, because then they’re scared to death if the kid tries to go anywhere and wonder if they’ll ever shut-up. Never-the-less, it’s all a part of that growing up process at work. Parents always encourage and excitedly push their child through the early stages of development, only to later look back and wish that those times could last forever.

Time passes and it is strange that as we become older, and the tasks of growing up become more difficult, the rewards and praises lessen. For example, compare the excitement everyone expresses and shares when a child takes its first steps to how they react when the same child learns to drive. As we enter our teens growing up takes on a new definition. Our teen years are like a grow-up gauntlet with an apparently clear defined set of tasks that will turn us into adults; be responsible, learn to drive, get a job, buy a car, start serious dating. Yay!!! Now we are finally grown up. No, not quite yet, because now that we’ve gotten to this point the rules to adulthood have changed. Now there are some side references here to having sex, drinking etc., but these mostly come from people who have mistakenly gone down that route. They use the vices of life to try and make others feel like they’re missing something in the whole “growing-up” experience. Don’t be deceived, misery and stupidity love company. What you really need now, according to your own personal “grow-up” people, is to be independent, to get out from under your folks roof and take care of yourself.

OK, so now you’re a home owner (or you rent), you have a steady job, a significant other, you drive your own car, and you are totally self-supporting. GROW-UP!!! Oh for the love of… What now you ask? What else could there possibly be? Now the air is filled with a deafening whistle as the bomb is dropped. “Stop fooling around with your friends! Adults don’t watch cartoons! You’re too old to play with toys! Get rid of those video games and stop reading those stupid comic books! Act mature, show some responsibility… grow up!” It is at this stage that I must intervene and reply with a whole hearted F*** YOU! I’ve been drinking milk- and while I’ve grown bigger, and stronger, you’ve just gotten older and weaker. Just because someone is older doesn’t mean they’re grown up, just old. They’ll never give you the satisfaction of saying you’ve grown up; that would make you equal and what would they hold over your head then?

I firmly believe that we continue to “grow-up” from the time we are born till the time we are laid to rest. However, there is a point in our lives in which we pass into mature adulthood. This passage is not marked by age; nor can it be measured by time. It is not a matter of how we live, where we live or what we do, but a question of who we are. Are we grown–up? It’s not something you can be told, but something that is decided by each person as an individual. In short- you are an adult when you say that you are, and you actually believe it.

I welcome all questions, comments, and column suggestions, via Focus, or e-mail me at my new email address– wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya.

 

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