Custom Search




banner2

banner3

banner1

banner2


Zoo-Illogical

June 20, 2013

To say that last week was a “helluva” week for the House o’ Saw would be an understatement. It started with the preceding weekend and undertaking the project of ripping out an inner wall to expand a bedroom into the hall, which didn’t seem like much trouble at all. But it quickly became apparent that back in 1964 (when the house was built) lunatics were recruited for construction crews. It was like disassembling a jigsaw puzzle in hell and consumed all of Saturday and most of Sunday. But by the weekend’s end the wall was gone and finishing the project during the following week seemed like a possibility. Then the week began and it was all down hill from there.

Monday heralded a lot of rain and a faulty sump-pump. Let’s keep this short and sweet and do it by the numbers. Six inches of dirty rain water flooding the basement. Four 2 X 4’s (the ones needed for the project upstairs) floating in it. Three sessions of minor electrocution by aforementioned faulty sump-pump. Two trips to the hardware store. Two hours spent squatting in dirty water to hold new sump-pump in place. One minor concussion when a door fell on my head. 2 am came and the waters had receded.

Tuesday wasn’t much better. Sweeping and mopping up the residual water in the basement. Removing water damaged furniture and crap we didn’t need anymore. The basement is clean, dry and sanitized. So construction resumes tomorrow...right?

Wednesday dawns and the problem moves to the backyard. The riding mower’s deck has pulled loose a pulley on its second lap. Now what would normally be a 30 minute job turns into a two+ hour ordeal because the push mower still works.

Thursday is grocery day. So we went and bought groceries. Nothing bad really happened that day and my cereal was on sale. But the past three days had sucked so NYAH!

By Friday it was obvious it was time for a much needed break. Said needed break came with a call from my beloved mother-in-law with the info that it was Farm Bureau Week. To honor it most of the farm/zoos would be open free to the general public that weekend.

Now if at this point you’re expecting tales of monkeys pleasuring themselves, funny animal poop stories or mayhem at the zoo, sorry to disappoint you. The trip went over without a hitch. We even got to take my grandkid (a.k.a. The Tot). Even though he had a good time that Tot didn’t seem to care much for the zoo or maybe he didn’t understand it. The truth is the more I think about it I don’t understand it either.

Animals behind bars. Who were once free to roam over hundreds of miles of wilderness and outback, confined to the equivalent of an oversized chain-linked dog-lot. Forced each day to make the mind blowing decision of: do I sit in the hot sun while being pelted with compressed veggie-pellets by insensitive white-trash brats whining, “Why doesn’t it do something?” Or sit in the shade of my tin-roofed hot box that passes for a shelter. The conditions in which these animals live is depressing and though it is certain (we hope) that their keepers have the best intentions, the conditions are still inadequate. But let’s not focus on nor attack these small entrepreneurs who are trying to turn an honest buck. Instead let’s look at the concept of “zoo” itself.

Where do we get off? What gives us the right to trap animals, take them thousands of miles from their natural habitats and put them on display for profit, then allow visitors the luxury of tormenting the defenseless beasts? Does anyone live under the delusion that the animals prefer captivity? Oh, OK, so it seems some of them do. So just for s***s and giggles let’s remove the cages then and see what happens. It’ll be very educational when that cute widdle monkey you been pitching peanuts at rips you apart. Or maybe a kangaroo will collapse your lungs with a defensive kick. If they’re so happy why do they attack or run away when the opportunity presents itself? It’s because they know from first contact the thing that it takes most humans a lifetime to figure out: people suck!

I welcome all questions, comments, and column suggestions, via Focus, or e-mail me at my new email address– wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya.

 

ARCHIVES:

Bulimic Nation

Warning: This Article May Contain Nuts!

Distractions

A Better Mousetrap

A Little Soul-Rending

Life

The Battle En...Shoes?

Americana Forgotten! A Train Of Thought Ride

The Evil Dead

Shooting From The Hip

Reminiscing A Dump...Truck

Another Good Friday

Political Race...ism?

Seven Stages

The Joke

THE BEAR AND I Part 2: RETURN OF THE Q!

The Bear And I

Scouting It Out

Chainsaw’s Dating Guide


 

 

 

 

fanjoylabrenz.jpg   fanjoylabrenz.jpg

PO Box 1721 | Hickory, NC 28603 | 828.322.1036 | Office Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm | focusnews@centurylink.net

Home • Reviews: MoviesAdam Long • Editorials: FocusHave Chainsaw Will TravelSid On SportsBobbi GSara MawyerPeople PicturesPlaces/PeopleExtra Events Listing
Out Of Focus • News: Local NewsNational NewsHoroscopes • Info/Links: Staff/ContributorsList Of AdvertisersOnline AdvertisingOnline ClassifiedsContact UsFocus BLOGStoreLinks

© 1978 - 2014 Tucker Productions, Inc.