Custom Search





.38 Special

July 16, 2015

“Uh uh, I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?” Clint Eastwood in the role of Detective Harry Callahan; Dirty Harry (1971).

The Zombie Survival Guide tells us that a handgun should always be carried when confronting ghouls but as a secondary weapon only. (See Firearms; Section 7_The Pistol- pages 47 & 48). For that matter, due to their light weight and easy transport they make an attractive addition to an arsenal in any apocalyptic scenario.

(Yes, we just went from a Classic Eastwood movie quote to quoting Max Brooke’s Zombie Survival Guide. That was on purpose and you didn’t miss anything in your reading. No worries, this kind of thing happens all the time.)

Whether fending off the undead on the run or standing your ground against the human element during a normal apocalypse, a good sidearm is a necessity. The best example of why this is fact is the classic conversation between two neighbors discussing their preparedness for such an event. Neighbor one says, “I’ve built a bunker in my basement with a generator and refrigeration unit. It’s stock-piled with enough food, water and fuel to last three years.” Neighbor two says, “I’ve got a gun.” Do we really need to explain how that would work? The logic kinda speaks for itself.

Being prepared for surviving in the aftermath of an apocalyptic event (zombie or otherwise) has always been a personal goal. Supplies can be picked up along the way, on the run, during the initial onset of the event. However weapons are something that should be obtained and trained with beforehand—especially guns. The 12-gauge single barrel stagecoach shot gun is my own selection for a primary firearm. The spent shell ejection feature makes it optimal for my guerrilla style combat. However, finding the right handgun to accompany it has always been an issue.

Being a huge Dirty Harry fan, a .44 Magnum seemed ideal to blow a zombie’s head clean off! Sadly its bulk and fierce kick-back didn’t suit me. Smaller guns scare me because they look like toys and could easily get forgotten in a pants pocket and blow holes through the washer during the rinse cycle. After years of visiting numerous gun shops and trying a plethora of hand guns I had just about given up…when low and behold I come across a .38 Special.

It’s a Smith &Wesson 1969 edition, K frame model 14-3 .38 Special…to be precise. This was the same type fire arm issued by police during the late 60’s. It has awesome fire power with minimal recoil and is oft suggested as a top choice for home defense. Though I doubt they were thinki…

“What’s this?”

I turn from my PC to see Frank a.k.a. the Grim Reaper (we’re on a first name basis) pointing a bony finger at the .38 lying on my desk. I inform him that I just went into grave detail about what “this” is. He tells me he knows damned well what it is but wants to know what it’s doing here. “On the desk?” I ask. “No in the house!” he fires back angrily. So I proceed to inform Mr. High and Mighty Angel of Death that I purchased it for home defense. He stares at me. OK OK I picked it up so I’ll have it in the event of a Zombie apocal…He stares harder. All right I want to take up target shooting and I needed…More stares and a BS harrumph. Fine! I got it because it looks cool and I want to shoot stuff…there, are you happy?

He smiles and snags a cigarette from my pack (be wary of Death for he is a mooch). Lighting it he leaves the room and tells me I should mention gun safety. He’d like to not have to visit any accidental shootings.

OK, so let’s wrap this up with some gun safety advice…umm, I have one, so watch out!

Just kidding but seriously I’m inexperienced with handguns so you might better watch out. Next week: Gun Safety with Chainsaw!

Questions, comments and column ideas are welcome via through the Focus, or just E-mail me at or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!




Littering In Review!


Preparing To Alienate Yourself

Father’s Day?

We Are All Immortal... At Least Until We Die

Boggin Me Down

Comic Relief

5 Minutes Later...

Godzilla Was Misunderstood

Happy Bunnies’ Last Stand! Or, The Rise Of The Content And Yet Paranoid Squirrels!

Smurf The Whole Day Through!

Running With Scissors

Back In 5 Minutes...

We’re All Mad Here!

Building Up To It

Graveside Trivia With Frank

Before You Can Begin Sifting Through The Ashes

Daylight WASTE Of Time

Just Thinking Out Loud Here

There’s Bacon Loose In The Freezer

Stop Thinking Like A People

Sit, Roll Over, Play Dead...Now, Reanimate

Of Chainsaws And Puppy Paws

Cult Classic Or Pop Culture Corpses

A Chainsaw Classic:Exhaustipated

Living Within The Sliding Puzzle

Resolutions In Higher Resolutions

2015 As It Falls Apart

It’s A Wonderful Life?

How The Grinch Didn’t Bother Stealing Christmas

Room To Move: A Christmas Story

10 Uncomfortable Questions

Thanks...For Nothing

All In Due-Over Time

Stuff To Give Thanks For, Because After All, It’s Thanksgiving

30 Days

Hell-o-ween 4 Do You Believe In Ghosts?

Hell-O-Ween 3: Suburban Legends

Hell-O-Ween 2 The Bloody ‘55

Hell-O-Ween - There Is Nothing To Fear But FearItself...And Low-Flying Ducks!

Why Would You Want To Catch A Cold?

Technologically AdvancedOr Obsessed?

The Chainsaw Hard Drive

Of The Apes

I Don’t Know...What Do You Wanna Do?

And Then...One Year Later...

Is It Hopeless Or Should We Hope Less

Are There Alternate Realities?

Questionable Perception

Literally Speaking

He’s In The Closet

The Eclector

Littering Is Delusional!

Sis Boom BAH

Fear...Of The Bat!

CLOSED The Road To Imagination

Toy Box Terrors

Fire Trucks, Some Fencing And A Potential Kazoo

Grasping For A Gasp

Commercial Messages

Lilies Considered

The Passage Of Furry Little People

Broken Conversation Pieces

Momentary Lapse Of Realization

During The Zombie Apocalypse

And You Can Drive It Off The Lot...TODAY!!!

Th-th-that’s Not All, Folks!

Relation Termination

Bound & Determined

Waste of Saving Time

They Oft Go Awry


Mud and Memories

The Devil Came Down, Part 2

The Devil Came Down

Chainsaw’s Random Trivia Tidbits Or Useless Crap You Probably Don’t Know

Undead Offensive

Estranged Stranger

The Wee-wee Hours Of The Morning

Trying To Stay Focused

Annual Demise

‘Twas The Night Before Santa Claus Was Coming To Town!

Slay Bells Ring

Embracing The Holidays...In A Strangle Hold!

The TRUTH About Thanksgiving!

Stuff To Be Thankful For, Because After All, It Is Thanksgiving

Used Children

Primitive Mind Set


HELL-O-WEEN 3: Co$tumes

HELL-O-WEEN 2 Is It The Devil’s Holiday?

Helloween Left In The Dark

To The Naked Eye

Something Else

Trivia To Soothe The Savages


For Decades

Lights... Camera... Distraction

Webster’s DictionaryThe Chainsaw Edition Vol. 2

Webster’s Dictionary THE CHAINSAW EDITION, Vol. 1

You Only Get One

Picture Imperfect

Can You Imagine Dragons?

Putting The ‘Itch’ In

Grow Up!!!

Night of the Living Dead...Alligators?

Littering Is Still Bad!!!


Bulimic Nation

Warning: This Article May Contain Nuts!


A Better Mousetrap

A Little Soul-Rending


The Battle En...Shoes?

Americana Forgotten! A Train Of Thought Ride

The Evil Dead

Shooting From The Hip

Reminiscing A Dump...Truck

Another Good Friday

Political Race...ism?

Seven Stages

The Joke


The Bear And I

Scouting It Out

Chainsaw’s Dating Guide





BannerEventAd-01.jpg   fanjoylabrenz.jpg

PO Box 1721 | Hickory, NC 28603 | 828.322.1036 | Office Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm |

Home • Reviews: MoviesAdam Long • Editorials: FocusHave Chainsaw Will TravelSid On SportsBobbi GSara MawyerPeople PicturesPlaces/PeopleExtra Events Listing
Out Of Focus • News: Local NewsNational NewsHoroscopes • Info/Links: Staff/ContributorsList Of AdvertisersOnline AdvertisingOnline ClassifiedsContact UsFocus BLOGStoreLinks

© 1978 - 2018 Tucker Productions, Inc.