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DISCLAIMER: “The views, thoughts and opinions contained within this article are those of the writer and his alone. They in no way reflect upon the views, thoughts and or opinions of the FOCUS, the FOCUS staff or any other contributing writers. For that matter, they in no way, shape or form represent the views, thoughts and or opinions of any person within FOCUS Towers. Or the surrounding city in which it is located. Any complaints in reference to this article will be taken under serious consideration…and ignored rather snootily. If you take anything written here seriously then seek serious help…seriously.”
Shalom and greetings my friends, regular and irregular readers alike! Welcome to this week’s edition of Have Chainsaw Will Travel. This time round we have a rather exciting topic to explore, but be warned…

FOREWARNING: “Some may take offense to the subject matter of this week’s article and the contents there-in. Reader discretion is advised.”

Umm… OK, good point. It is always good to consider the contents and context of any reading material in advance, lest you be offended. Then again, in exploring new material that you may initially consider as taboo, you may find yourself siding with the writer or at least their material on that particular subject.

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER: “These thoughts and opinions are those of the writer and his alone and do not reflect those of any other contributing writer. However, if a contributing writer wishes to express similar views and opinions, they may feel free to do so of their own free will without provocation or persecution from this writer.”

Yes, that is a good point- it’s important to share. Now, moving on. In previous articles we’ve discussed different views on parenting but…

PARENTAL ADVISORY EXPLICIT CONTENT: “The following article’s content may not be suitable for younger readers. Parental discretion is advised.”

What? OK, it’s a given that at times this column does cover things that aren’t exactly “kid friendly.” But there’s not been a chance to provide enough “content” in this particular article to even be considered “explicit.”  Seriously- WTF?

PARENTAL ADVISORY EXPLICIT LYRICS: “The following article may contain lyrics that aren’t suitable for young children or those who are easily offended by naughty words. More discretion is advised!”EXPLICIT

Lyrics? There aren’t even any lyrics here! This is a written column to be read, not sung.  How can it have “explicit lyrics” if there are no lyrics? Fine, fine whatever! This week we’ll be dipping our toes and wading around the shallow end of the gene pool.

WARNING: “No diving or jumping in shallow water. Diving may result in permanent injury or permanent death. To avoid serious injury or serious death, all pool users must know and follow the rules. There’s no lifeguard here, either, so read at your own risk.”

OK, we’ll let that slide because…

CAUTION SLIDE AREA: “Rocks and stuff may fall on you for the next 4 miles.”

That’s enough! Now you’re just interrupting just to interrupt. And that’s not even a real warning nor is it related to anything we’re discussing. What the hell do you…

PARENTAL ADVISORY EXPLICIT LYRICS: “The following article…”

Arrrggh! Stop it! Enough with the warning disclaimer label bulls…err, stuff! Geez-us, we’re almost out of article here and there hasn’t been any article. So now, if you’re done…ahem — when referencing the shallow end of the gene pool concerning parenting, we’re not referring to intellect or breeding. Rather we’re referencing those who lack the patience, skills and means to properly care for a child. But who is to define “proper care”? The parent’s parents, the regional consensus or perhaps the government? Actually it should all come down to self-awareness and an honest assessment of an individual’s situation. You’re not a good parent because you want to be one, just because you think you are. When it comes to parenting bear this in mind…

DO NOT FEED THE BEARS: “Feeding bears may result in you being dead!”

That is an excellent point and…I give up. So don’t feed the bears (or wild gorillas) unless you’re feeding them really bad parents, because we could use a few less of those in the world.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!