COVID-19 • Now That
We’ve Got Your Attention…

In the beginning…did anyone take it seriously? When they were told there was a potentially deadly, rapidly spreading, respiratory virus, which just happened to share its name with a well-known beer brand? How could they? It was too easy not to! And cue the moronic jokes constructed from defiant doubt, untouchable Americanism and fear of the unknown. Yes, ha-ha… how could anyone take a beer-virus seriously? Then people started dying from it and suddenly it wasn’t so funny anymore.

The coronavirus, probably not the best choice of names, but it is what it is. Besides we had to call it something. When it comes to human beings, lack of relatable identification is terrifying to us on a primal level. It’s a proven fact that any threat can be minimalized and made to seem less threatening by simply giving it a name. Though, in this case, this logic initially backfired; completely nulling the threat. Perhaps had it remained nameless it would have been taken with the proper degree of seriousness it so rightly deserved.

To make its threat more relevant, a virus PR agent from the CDC insisted we begin addressing it by its more proper viral identity, COVID-19. Now here was a title with merit. It had a name accompanied by a dated number and thus we could relate to it. It allowed people to categorize it into an understandable timeline. But this presented a new problem, due to our social media-driven society’s continuous desire to move on to the next trending thing COVID-19 has surpassed its interest expiration date. Many are having trouble grasping that it’s still here and still a threat on multiple levels.

Apologies to regular readers – Thus far HCSAWWT has skirted along the edge of this issue, refusing even to address the virus by any name for fear of giving it more precedence and power. Not ignoring it and hoping it will just go away, just giving you something else to read because, let’s be honest — constant information about this s*** is everywhere. “So Mr. Chainsaw-man… why talk about it now… why here?” Because my friends it is here now.

Recently, a friend whom I’ve been in daily contact with tested virally positive. This was baffling, seeing as how they had been overly anal about viral protection measures. Sanitizing, wearing gloves, distancing, masking and yet…they caught it. So it would seem there is no 100% assurance of suggested protective measures? Regardless of how the virus bypassed their defenses, it seemed I was due for a testing myself, more out of curiosity than concern.

Arriving at the care facility there were signs with instructions to call and sign-in via cell phone. Before this process could be completely completed I was beckoned and led to the back of the clinic. This might have seemed sketchy were the man not wearing the upper half of a hazmat suit. Still I was wary… there is no set attire for muggers.

Once inside and brought to a small examination room, vitals were taken…all good – now on with the test. Hazmat man produced not one but two big-assed Q-tips. There are weird levels of discomfort experienced when someone gets samples of the snot closest to your brain from both nostrils. A lasting feeling of violation… now show us on the doll where he swabbed you. But then it was over… but not really as there is a 5 to 7 day wait for the results (day 3 as this is being written and my snoz still hurts). Till then continue to take all safety measures you’ve been taking (which may prove pointless if the test is positive) and watch for symptoms. Now every cough breeds concern, each sniffling sneeze is suspect; headaches are harrowing and body pains bothersome. Yet, I have allergies, have cut back on smoking and occasional aches and pains are the norm for me. So is it symptomatic… or just coincidence?

COVID-19 symptoms cover such a vast array of conditions it’s hard to tell what’s what or when what is actually what it is… or if it’s anything at all. Now the question is — will I become more wary of getting sick if negative? Or more worried about knowing if I’m positive I’m actually sick?

Next week: Diagnosis?

I welcome almost all questions and comments FOCUS, or E-mail me directly at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com.

Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!