Confessions Of A Plant-a-holic
September 19, 2013
“Hello, my name is Bobbi and I’m a plant-a-holic. It all started in high school when I bought my first pothos vine, never imagining that little nibble of botany would become a life-long addiction to domesticated nature. Successfully keeping that pothos thriving, I tried a coleus next. Only to discover one wasn’t enough; I needed to own every color variation…and there were so many glorious shades to choose from. Yes, the signs were there early but I chose to ignore them.
After high school I moved into my first apartment. It was a studio. It was small. However, driven by desire I effortlessly kept a snake plant and miniature palm alive, fertilizing my addiction. Without realizing the future repercussions of my actions I started bringing home plant stands to support my habit. Then I hung shelves for smaller foliage and kept a supply of ceiling hooks in the kitchen drawer. I had to hide them; I didn’t want anyone to know just how far I was willing to go to cultivate my botanic bliss.
After college I owned my own home and my obsession ventured outside when I started a vegetable garden. My need for a fix intensified one day when I actually scraped seeds off a strawberry and grew them. Next it was seeds from a pineapple; and then I grew a plum tree. Exhilarated, my appetite grew and I found myself bringing home bleeding hearts and hostas. Ah, but you see…I couldn’t have just one hosta…I had to own every variety! There were blues, and moons, and elephant ears. Oh! And I just discovered the ‘white feather.’ Please understand, I absolutely must have it; I saw it online and I need to leave and order it RIGHT NOW!”
“Bobbi, calm down. This is why you’re here, remember?”
“Yes, yes, I’m sorry.”
“Then please continue.”
“Thank you. Um…where was I? Well, it doesn’t matter. Obviously, tropical foliage is my drug of choice. The rarer a species the more my craving to own it overwhelms me. Driving over a hundred miles 14 years ago to bring home a variety of schefflera with a leaf like a white oak. I had never seen one before and only two since…very rare. It’s still flourishing on my front porch; along with at least a dozen other houseplants. On my side porch I have a variegated angel trumpet with one stem that sprouted completely white. How amazingly rare! Driven by my passion I will propagate it and create a crop of pure white angels. WOWZER! But that’s not all, I have a double pink angel I grew from a seed that finally bloomed this year! Oh my, I’m feeling a little faint. May I have some water please?
Thank you. Let’s see…oh, bringing everything in during the winter is a little challenging, but my house has long windows. I just pile my botanical babies four deep so they can do their photosynthesis thingy. Trust me I’ve tried quitting several times. But I just can’t stop bringing them home. Rock bottom finally occurred, I realized, when I started scouring the fifty percent off racks in the back of the plant department to sustain my hunger. Man, there is no better high than bringing a plant back from the grips of decay.
Then recently, a friend told me about a nursery going out of business and everything was 50% off. My anticipation was euphoric as I dropped everything and rushed over immediately. Purchasing too much for my car to carry, a real nice gentleman who worked there loaded up his truck and brought home my camellias, wisterias and other flowering shrubs. Oh boy, one of the camellias was variegated too. I love variegated!
I made four more trips buying everything from a swiss cheese philodendron, a variegated purple passion, a variegated jade and my absolute favorite…a black bat flower. That’s when my friend Margery said, ‘Bobbi, friends need to tell friends when they have too many plants.’ Uh..and that’s why I’m here. Thank you.”
Can you imagine…two green thumbs?
Smile, and go green!
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