Things To Ponder

August 12, 2010

For some reason my brain is constantly in overdrive asking WHY? So imagine my excitement when I get emails where other people ask why too! Okay, I can see where this is going. I get that you may not ask why skinny jeans come in size 20 or why the freezer doesn’t have a light. But I do. By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you “WHY, when I miss your phone call and call right back I get your voice mail. Where did you go? You just called me!”

Anyway, here are some things for you to ponder about when you have nothing else to do. Which reminds me; at what point during the day do you realize you’re not going to do anything worthwhile, productive or otherwise considered ‘work’ the rest of the day? And while you’re at work do you ever wish you were napping? And while you’re napping do you ever wish you were at work? (If you answered yes to the latter, I know of a Hotline that might be able to help.)

Hey, I’ve heard of phone sex, but is anyone having ‘text sex’ and is it just as exhilarating? Why? I mean, there is a slight delay between texts. Speaking of texting, emails or other forms of written electronic communication, it has come to my attention that we are in desperate need of a sarcasm font. Why? Because ALL CAPS DOESN’T ALWAYS SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGE, therefore I suggest adding a long line of exclamation points!!!!!!!! And why doesn’t spell check work on acronyms?

And, what’s going on with Map Quest? The directions really should start AFTER you leave your neighborhood. I’m pretty sure you know how to get to the corner of McDonalds and Exxon. Don’t embarrassing moments make great stories? Unfortunately it’s usually your relatives telling your date about the time you came running out of the bathroom butt naked after spotting a spider in the shower. Why?

Now just between you and me, when I plan on spending the entire day at home I get comfy. No shoes, no makeup, no annoying undergarments restricting blood flow. But when I do venture out, say to run errands, I get gussied up. It’s such a waste however, when I don’t run into anyone important… or cute… or tall… or in cowboy boots. But let me fly out of the house (in comfy mode plus a touch of lip gloss) panic stricken because I ran out of mint flavored dental floss and that’s precisely when Mr. Right makes a public appearance. Why?

Do you keep the phone numbers of people you NEVER want to speak to again in your cell phone so you’ll know it’s them calling? Don’t you wish they’d come up with the technology to direct that phone number to a personal message from you like, STOP CALLING ME IDIOT!!!!! (Or insert your own message here.) But instead they get your voice mail and leave a message, which you know you’ll listen to even though you’ve told yourself a million times you won’t. Why?

You know, a lot of red lights are being wasted because we aren’t allowed to text while driving. So what do we do now? Then there are the times we all seem to have trouble finding our car keys, cell phone or the birthday card from grandma with twenty bucks still in it. But everyone reading this can hit the snooze button the first time with their eyes still closed. Why?

And for the grand finale… WHY in overdrive! Why do we try to carry ALL the grocery bags inside in one trip? Why, as a driver do we hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian do we hate drivers? Why do we finally stop asking “What?’ and just keep nodding even though we can’t understand a word they are saying? Why don’t women have to repeatedly check to see if their private parts are still intact? Why doesn’t anyone in technical support speak English? Why do more kisses begin with Kay and not alcohol? Why don’t we mail junk mail back in their own postage paid envelope? Why can women talk to men without wondering what they look like naked? Oops, wait… I… um… I do that.

Well, if this didn’t give you something new to think about you’re worse off than I thought. Why?

Can you imagine…running out of the bathroom naked after spotting a spider? Oh, that was you.

Why aren’t you smiling?!

CanYouImagine@charter.net | www.BobbiGSpeaks.com | www.theBobbiGspot.com