When Love Fails
January 19, 2017
“Don’t believe those who tell you they love you, believe those who show you they do.”
I posted this quote on my Facebook page adding the comment, “Love is action, not words.”
However, before I expand further on that premise I’d be remiss if I failed to mention hearing “I love you” has the power to make hearts flutter like the wings of a thousand butterflies. Love surpasses all boundaries: religion, color, age, gender, social status and more. Love is incredibly passionate, compassionate and inspiring. Love embraces forgiveness while making your heart smile all in one syllable. Love is intrinsically woven into every fiber of our being causing our emotions to soar to incredible heights beyond our wildest imagination.
It’s as colorful as the brilliance of a rising sun and as beautiful as the first blossoms in Spring. It’s as joyful as a child’s laughter and as warm as the first rays of summer. Love is kind. Love is grateful. Love is humble. Love never fails.
Well, that’s perplexing. Why would I title this column “When Love Fails” then open by expressing the opposite? Because love can be as fleeting as the blink of an eye or endure beyond a lifetime. Yet, this cherished emotion should be adored as one would a priceless treasure not intermittently toyed with or forsaken.
When love is abused it takes hostages. Love has the ability to destroy relationships; leave a gaping hole in someone’s heart; turn compassion into hatred; uproot forgiveness and plant bitterness; choose sides and tear families apart. Like a house of falling cards, this is when love fails.
Imagine the first spark of love as a small seed cultivated by water and sunshine. Thus, falling in love requires nurturing the newly sprouted vine to develop healthy, deep roots supporting a strong and thriving stalk filled with a bounty of blooms. Furthermore, staying in love would be the constant, tender care of the roots, vine and blossoms, paying special attention to each part as love flourishes.
Obviously, love fails when we neglect the fundamentals it thrives upon to survive. When we stop doing, being and acting in the ways necessary for love to exist. Visualize the roots of love withering when we stop appreciating each other. Simply saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are basics we often forget. Yet these small phrases go a long way toward others feeling appreciated. Love visibly wilts when we stop telling the truth…stop listening… and stop communicating. Love also suffers distress when we stop making time to spend with each other. Love diminishes when we stop supporting each other; stop encouraging each other; and stop simply being there for the one we love. Love has a hard time recovering when forgiveness stops and keeping score begins. Love struggles to flourish when we stop being grateful for the one who loves us. They don’t have to, you know.
How can love survive when it’s kept in the dark? Unattended. Unnurtured. Uncherished. Love needs TLC to survive. If you feel love is failing and your relationship is in jeopardy, start loving the idea of being in love! Take care of the little things that love thrives on: gratitude, trust, kindness, honesty, encouragement, forgiveness, laughter, friendship, passion, companionship, joy and more all compounded daily.
Remember when, why and how you fell in love and nurture those memories, keeping alive the precious treasure blooming in your heart. Love isn’t a word uttered and then tossed aside to wither and die. Love is action. Love requires constant attention. Love is the foundation on which happiness endures. Remember, the simply existence of love will support the strongest vine.
Stop ‘stopping’ and start ‘starting’ to grow your love stronger every day. Give it your upmost attention. Nurture it daily. Cherish love as a precious gift. In other words, show them you love them. Love is action. Without saying a word love speaks loudly…and never fails.
Can you imagine…love lasting a lifetime?
Smile, love looks good on you.