Behind The Scenes

February 2, 2012

“Phil! Phil! What’s taking you so long? Breakfast is ready, dear.”

“Phyllis, have you seen my lucky boxer shorts.”

“You’re lucky boxer shorts; whatever for dear?”

“I make my appearance in less than an hour and with the warm trend I’ve been seeing on my weather forecast charts, I’m gonna definitely need some luck to make my prediction this year.”

“Silly groundhog, come eat your breakfast. I made your favorite...apple-banana smash with grubs.”

“Thanks Phyllis, but I don’t think I can eat today. However, I will take a cappuccino if you made some.”

“Golly gracious, do you think that’s a good idea Phil? You know what too much caffeine does to you. You’ll be twitching your nose and scratching your ears all day. How are you going to concentrate if you’re just a bundle of jittering whiskers?”

“You’re right dear, but from the package I just received this morning which compiles all the analysis and forecast charts meteorologist are saying this winter has been 10-30 degrees warmer than it should be this time of year.

Shhhhh...I’m figuring out the weather!

I mean, just look at this analysis Phyllis. It’s practically been isotach, isotherm, isobar, and isoderosotherm all season. Apparently there’s a warm front in place that doesn’t want to budge. The Jet Stream seems to be stuck on tropical; and it’s as if Indian Summer planted itself in the middle of what should be winter!”

“Iso-what, dear?”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It means there’s hardly been any real change; it’s been consistently mild since fall. I just don’t know how they expect me to make an accurate prediction with all this unseasonable weather. Fortunately, the only thing I can count on, according to this forecast, is it should be mostly cloudy today.”

“Just do your best Phil, you always do.”

“My best! My best! I’d like to know who said ‘if a groundhog sees its shadow there will be six more weeks of winter.’ Because as great-great-great-great granddaddy always said, ‘If you cast, winter won’t last.’ Which means an early Spring! But humans twisted it around backwards and now I have to study all these dang-blasted charts and graphs to forecast Spring.”

“Orange juice, dear?”

“Huh? Oh, yes. Thank you.” “Hey, Phylly-pie-sweetie-plum, put a shot of vodka in that juice…please. I’ve done worked myself into a tizzy.”

“Now Punxsutawney Phil, what would your granddaddy say?!”

“He’d probably wish they had vodka when he had to make predictions without all this durn data.”

“Well dear, I don’t know if this will help you any but when I looked out the burrow this morning I saw our daffodils blooming.”

“See what I mean, how am I supposed to give an accurate pre...”

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“Good morning Junior. What woke you up? You should sleep another month...at least.”

“I wanted to hear your prediction. Is Spring coming, is it? Huh, is it?”

“Hahahaha! Son, I’ll tell you what I’m going to predict if you can keep it a secret. Okay?”

“Okey dokey!”

“Come here and I’ll whisper in your ear.”

It appears from all the data I’ve been studying this morning I’d have to say we’re going to have...

Can you imagine...what really goes on in Phil’s burrow?”

Smile, I’m predicting an early Spring!

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