There are a wide variety of writers, falling into a plethora of classifications. There are novelist, bloggers (pretend writers), short storiests (storiers? Ack! Spell check hates short stories), essayists, journalists, biographers, fictional fact and factual fiction… people who write recipe books and, of course, newspaper columnists.
Aside from those who report on real life events, most columnists usually yield to a particular genre i.e., editorial, heartfelt, opinionated, humor, horror, sci-fi, romance, gopher porn, etc. Most stay within their format parameters. This logic is sound; if they can develop a method of writing, which they can reproduce on the regular and that is continually appeasing to the reader, then why change it?
However… there are those rare few who know no boundaries. Sticking to no style in particular they change up the subject matter and how they subject the matter from column to column, attempting to never write the same thing the same way twice. Thriving in a rampant diversity, they will sometimes challenge themselves by attempting different writing styles and tackling unusual presentation methods.
I know, I know — WTF does any of this have to do with the title? Well here’s the thing, since this is the first week of November I wanted to do a nice piece on the 30 Days of Gratitude. However I don’t have a lot of time or gratitude to spare this week. So instead of things to be thankful for, for 30 days, I will rant about things I’m unthankful for… in the next 30 minutes…and…GO!!!
Wait…wait…stop the clock….I need to use the facilities… it’s a No. 2.
See, that would have cost me at least half my time. Now without further ado…GO!!!
So two weeks into October going out to shop for Helloween costumes and BAM! WTF! X-mas is already everywhere!!! Seriously we can’t wait and let the other holidays have their turn before ramming yuletide cheer down everyone’s throats? Pushing All Hallows Eve aside and completely ignoring every aspect of Thanksgiving (aside from Black Friday) it makes 30 Days of Gratitude seem like a joke.
Oh but don’t worry, if you feel the need to express your gratitude via social media there are Gratitude Guides online and an app for that. Seriously (again) you need a guide to tell you how and what to be thankful for? If you can’t think of your own thanks how thankful are you thinking your thanks are? Not very think-ful I’d imagine. But to be fair, beyond home, foods and family, most people are thanklessly lost…what about air? It’s all around and ya gotta breathe or you can be thankful for paramedics. Who administer CPR to people who refuse to breathe the air they aren’t thankful for? Why do people not move over for rescue vehicles? There’s a life on the line and assuredly that Frozen II light up, singing, dancing, X-mas ornament at Walmart can wait! S***’ll be there for the next two months anyway.
Use your turn signal for gawd’s sake nobody knows where the hell you’re going so at least pretend like you do! No worries though, pretty soon your vehicle will signal for you. People are already too stupid to know when to turn on their headlights and windshield wipers. “But Mr. Chainsaw-man…I forget.” You forget it’s dark and raining? Well maybe you should try looking out the windshield instead of at your phone! It takes 20 minutes of reckless driving to achieve what could be said in a 30 second conversation. The art of conversation is dead, kids don’t play outside anymore — they don’t know how…. anybody else sick to death of phone obsession? If aliens decided to invade, nobody would know.
I’m almost as thankless about a potential alien invasion as I am about bears. Then again bears may be the last line of defense against aliens because they won’t be playing on their stupid phones!!!
Common sense, right and wrong, have taken a backseat to political correctness, and the fear of hurting someone’s feelings! I’m not thankful for the human condition or the condition humans have put our planet in. Our planet is dying, we’re killing it and all you’re worried about is how many shopping days are left till X-mas.
And…30! Well that was fun and challenging and completely thankless. You’re welcome!
I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me directly at email@example.com.
Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!